I am so not a food blogger.

Not that I ever claimed to be, but I am in a constant state of panic on what to do with this blog. (Ok so panic may be a bit dramatic) However, I find I don’t write for lack of things to say.

Lets say I do not often lack things to say. In fact I find that I have been known to think myself crazy. So what would give me such a panic induced attack when faced with lack of words? How about boring subject matter.

I am not constantly sunny, I am not on a daily endorphin high. I work with food all day, every day. Needless to say, I don’t dream of food. I am creative, yes. I am creative, with clothes, decorations, food, words. I am a jack of all trades but a master of none.

Here’s the thing as I have spoke about on several occasions, I am recovering from some form of disordered eating. Therefore food blogging creates a bit of obsession. I have found that allowing myself to eat without rules, journals, trackers and cameras that I can feel true hunger cues. Wow, who have thunk it?

Truth of the matter is I am more of a fashion, interior beautification, makeup slut than a foodie. Yes, the past few years indicate otherwise, I assure you the previous all signs point to Maria purveyor of all things beautiful.

In fact I have even been referred to as shallow, rich, spoiled, materialistic. I can’t say I have never acted like I am any of those things but the base of me is quite different.

I, like plenty of other women, am quite simple, with a desire for the simple life. Including but not limited to: One perfect husband, two perfect children, 3 homes for lounging, 4 cars for driving, 5 bank accounts, 6 closets filled, 7 maids for cleaning, 8 years before divorcing, 9 figures of alimony, 10 plastic surgeries, 11 divorces later, 12 years in rehab.

Ok, maybe not quite like that. More like I am in love with love. I want it, I need it, when I get it, I am never satisfied. My list of wants is so great yet so simplistic. Love me. Love all of me. Every quirk, Every smirk. The bossy, the bad, the sweet. Take care of me. I promise to do the same. Share a family. Explore the world by my side. Enjoy the silence as much as the daily chatter. Grow old with me.

I can not promise I will always be easy to deal with, I expect the same. Please never utter words you cant take back. Please just love every ounce of me with every ounce of you.