My thoughts are scattered. My brain is trying to process all that swirls about. Read along, if you get lost it won’t be for long. 😉
Today was one of THOSE days. I was not only overwhelmed but flat-out sick of talking to people. I am sure you all know what I am talking about. See I love to help , but I take on too much. I am the good friend. The one who never says no. I work 7 days a week, yes necessity is involved but I also feel guilty when I take am not there.
To backtrack today was THAT kinda day. We were busy, I was thankful . However, along with busy comes stressful.
For me, Rebellion often sets in when you need that “Me” time. That’s right, Guilty as charged. When I get in that funk, I don’t want to talk. In fact the more you try to get me out of it, the less responsive I become. So, When Twinnie walked through the door, after my lack of reply to her various texts. I was automatically irritated. Why? Because my plan for the day was;
2) Movie by myself
3) More me time.
Sometimes what you think you need, in fact you do not.
Case in point.
Twinnie walks in, I am busy so I ignore her. On purpose? Maybe a little. Mom walks in next, followed shortly by my sister. All I could feel was annoyance, that not only where they able to sit and eat lunch (something I long to do) but there goes MY day.
Work slows, Twinnie walks over to hand me something. I look down, it’s a Valentines card. She explains she wasn’t planning on getting me anything but it was too perfect. An immediate wave of guilt washes over me. I read the card, it’s then my bad ass attitude is put on the back burner and I come back to my senses.
See the thing is, I have so many people around me that love me. More than I probably deserve. The problem isn’t them, it is me. My bad habits are to block off the world. Hole myself up, cut myself off from everyone who loves me. I am not even sure what cause this reaction. I am also sometimes unsure why anyone would put up with me. That’s where love steps in.
Everywhere I look, I am surrounded by people who love me. They may not all have the same reasons. They may not all know each other. I am the one thing they have in common. I am often unsure of why I am here. What my purpose is. Then I am reminded when I have a random day. So random, unplanned but nothing short of fantastic. When I look around, to realize that in actuality I have the world at my fingertips. Fear just gets in my way.
Whether or not I ever make a million dollars, I will know I was loved.
That in itself makes me rich.
So, a day of ME turned into a day of family. I loved every second of it. Mumsy and I had a few adventures, capped off by a glass of this:
My nephews had a few adventures when sidewalk chalk met my refrigerator:
Mumsy had to check their work:
I watched my fav men bond over storytelling and Olympics:
These are the days I long for my own home and family. I love nothing more than the chaos that families create. I want a full house and all the love that comes with.
That is what life is all about. Without love and family, it has no meaning. And guess what, those things are all free.
“When love is not madness, it is not love” —Pedro Calderon de la Barca